Do I Medicare?

Am I really old enough to be on Medicare? That’s 65, right? Good God!
I got this mailing from the Social Security Administration. (I opted to begin collecting SS payments at 62 on the advice of my friend Dave, who knows these things. The Social Security payment is pretty easy to forget about because it’s direct deposited and it’s kind of fun because it’s money coming in. It’s adding up in a bank account). Medicare on the other hand is about illness: cancer, Parkinson’s, heart disease, incontinence, weakness, memory loss, splotchy skin, flacidity, acid reflux, walkers, wheelchairs and some new form of TB.
This mailing was all about what I had to do to get medical care in my old age. The brochure was pretty good. It was printed in large, easy-to-read letters. The bullet points were even bigger. It was like I was hard of hearing and someone was shouting at me:
DECISION 1. DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO KEEP MEDICARE PART B. Okay. I hear you.
Generally speaking, I don’t want any medical care unless I am bleeding or broken. Specifically, I don’t want to take any pharmaceuticals like, for example, Lipitor which would lower my cholesterol. I don’t even want to know what my cholesterol level is. But, in our system, one is in sort of a trap. We have to sign up. When we sign up we have to pick a family physician. And, Medicare makes us get a  physical exam during the first six months after enrollment which means that someone is going to stick their finger up my butt.  Lots of old people like to go to the doctor. Maybe they just want someone to talk to or someone to touch them.
I don’t want that. I don’t want to know what they think is wrong with me. I am going to stick with snake oil and prayer healing as long as I can. Although I’ve got this mole...

Comments

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Women are not, are fairly portrayed in the media

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The government should be persuaded to pay for all healthcare