R Blog

Winter Walk on the Island

The island is a great place, though not everyone’s cup of tea. All the beaches are private. There are no parks save for the land trust preserves. There are no wet marinas and only one boat ramp available for public use (for an annual fee as it is privately owned). Lots of people can’t stand an island which is good. Because real islanders like it a lot. Of course, like any recent arrival we want to keep the island the way it was just before we showed up to help screw it up. If you like bucolic, the island is for you. Today’s walk was a three miler, north to the island’s tip, thence down the west side, stopping for a chat with my island golf partner who was putting out his garbage, then on to the yurt beach where we had a short break. Participating in the walk were myself  (behind the camera) Linda and our friend Marie.  After our break on the very unusual Chuckanut sandstone rocks we entered the woods trying to pick up the trail which was obscured with branches, leaves and snow smashed ferns. I took point and managed not to get us lost in the forest of alder, cedar, maple and Douglas fir. We headed south along the spine of this long, narrow island finally intersecting the horse trail which merged into an old logging road, then through the thickets on the west side of Richard’s mountain, past the recharge area and wetlands, past the cedar grove and back onto Blizard Road. We saw a varied thrush, an eagle, a blue heron, golden crowned kinglets and an old barn. More photos in slide show format  here if you are curious. (The reference to the film Five Easy Pieces is because some of that Jack Nicholson movie was supposedly filmed here on the island).

Konnyaku

Here’s my New Year’s present for everyone. A way to ease those aches and pains; a cure for tendonitis, aching back, headache, toothache. any kind of ache. You don’t have to eat anything, though it does involve a food. It’s konnyaku, a kind of potato that is favored by the Japanese. I have eaten it. My sister-in-law prepared it once. It wasn’t too bad. But she showed us something better. Boil a block of konnyaku for five minutes, wrap it in a towel. Apply it to your sore spot. It’s hot. Really hot. So hot it can burn sensitive skin even through layers of towel and clothing. It stays hot for a long time, a moist, penetrating, soothing, comforting heat. I’m using it to burn away tendonitis I’ve had in both elbows for several months. It’s very difficult to avoid irritating an inflamed elbow. So, it’s difficult to heal what is typically called “tennis elbow.” They’ve got those straps you wrap around your forearm. They are helpful. There are some yoga positions that help (kneel and rotate your hand—right hand to the right, left hand to the left— until your fingers point between your knees and press your palms flat on the floor), but the konnyaku works best of all. You can buy it at Asian food stores. A block of it costs roughly a dollar. It comes in brown and white. Brown seems to work best. You can reuse the blocks of konnyaku several times. Today we helped brother Richard clear blow down from the trail that traverses the cliff face below his house. It was hard work on a steep slope with tenuous footing. We were, may I say it, Bush-like in our diligence  to brush removal. Now we are sore and having a konnyaku party. I suppose it is sad that we have reached that stage of life when the exhortation, “Let’s party!” involves heating up the konnyaku.

Quote of the Day

...It's a pageantry of transportation about to unfold: the 747 on the runway, the hearse, the motorcade procession of flag-fluttering limos with police escorts, the march of the honor guard...a long strip of stately visuals under which the anchors and guests will pad the dead air with gabby sidenotes and pertinent factoids. This is how we do it in America, the coverage will say: big, bright, and beautifully orchestrated. It's as if we're trying to soothe ourselves into believing that we're still the country we used to be, that's there's a higher seamlessness to American life undisturbed by the staccato rhythms of bad news. What happens in Iraq stays in Iraq. A flag-draped coffin is acceptable viewing only if a dead president is inside.  
James Wolcott

National Guard Recruiting Assistance Program

Many people think the Army is worn out. There is evidence that recruiting has fallen off.  But the National Guard is being creative. The Guard is paying a $2000 bounty/commission for new recruits, paying it to retired guard members who sign up for the  Recruiting Assistance Program. If you are a retired guard member this could be an excellent home business, a way to supplement your income. Retired guard members are receiving the following mailing of encouragement:

NATIONAL GUARD
Recruiting Assistance Program

Breaking News!
Eligible retirees are now invited to apply to become Recruiting Assistants for the Guard Recruiting Assistance Program

Earn up to $2,000 for each new recruit who enlists and reports to Basic Training!

Current eligibility requirements may be found at www.GuardRecruitingAssistance.com or by contacting a representative toll-free at 866-566-2472

If you need some extra cash this is opportunity is much more straightforward than one of those multi-level marketing deals. There’s no down line; no up line. You just have to be a good enough salesman to get the live body to basic training. After that the Army takes over. While you are making your pitch, don’t let the prospective recruit read this.

TV or Not TV

That is the question. We are up at the island where, although it is available, we have no cable. Thus, no Golf Channel, no HBO, no MSNBC, no PBS, no Home and Garden. Instead, we have an antenna which only picks up three Canadian stations. I actually like watching Canadian, particularly the news. We were here when the Iraq War was heating up and their coverage was very civilized and objective with no flags waving in the background. But I tire of hockey and don’t watch TV here very often. One of the reasons is that it is actually more fun looking out the window, noting the changes in wind and tide and the coloration of Mt. Baker. Back in Ashland, which will soon be our former home, I am equipped with premium cable and TiVO—the great invention of the late Twentieth Century. With TiVO my channel surfing days ended much the relief of my mate (women do not understand channel surfing). In Ashland, I am a TV addict. With TiVO one accumulates a huge inventory of programs through the use of the Season Pass and the Wish List. The Season Pass will automatically record all the Daily Shows, all the Colbert Reports, all the Project Runways and America’s Top Models, all of The Wire and The Office, all of Survivor, This Old House, Playing Lessons with the Pros and all of Masterpiece Theater. The Wish List will find and automatically record every Hugh Grant film or each appearance Helen Mirren makes on any talk or interview show. Finally, TiVO (and all Digital Recording Devices) allow one to skip commercials. I no longer have the desire to buy anything. TiVO reminds me of those little fishing games they used to have at school carnivals. You threw a line over a curtain and someone tied a prize to it. It was always a surprise. I love to turn on the tube and see what TiVO has captured for my viewing pleasure. It’s often surprising. But we are moving to the island and technology is changing. The wise young men say that the future of TV is “on demand”, and on the computer. So, I am going to hold off until this new technology resolves. Lots of shows are currently available and a growing inventory of DVDs offer all the favorite shows and more a short time after their first run. I, in fact, have just won the entire second season of Boston Legal, a show I have never watched and possibly have no interest in. We’ll use Netflixs as a holding action and enjoy high definition like pictures on the laptop with sound pouring through Bose Headphones. The gigantic HD TV will have to wait until the tech geniuses come up with a solution as elegant as, say, the iPod.

The Amazing Internet

About ten years ago I spent a great deal of time researching my Civil War era great-great uncle’s diary. This uncle was killed in what was called the Seven Days when Lee was defending Richmond from the massive attack launched by General McClellen. Subsequently I wrote a book that no one, except perhaps relatives and damn few of them, wanted to read. One of the goals of my research was to find the original diary which no one in our family seemed to be able to find. There were only typescripts. I couldn’t find it even with the help of  professional Civil War historian Bill Miller. I wrote a book about my search but never attempted to publish it. I couldn’t even find a photo of my dead ancestor and namesake. More than three years ago I posted a summary of the first part of my history on From My Trunk, a blog where I occasionally post something I have written. This week I received an email from the wife of another descendent of Wm Randolph Smith along with a photo (circa 1856) of him and the answer to what happened to the diary. She had, of course, done the Google thing and found my write up. This closes the circle on a mystery and has gotten many cousins excited about revisiting the genealogy of our family. Civil War research is fun with massive source documents and thousands of books to peruse. Not wanting my research to go to waste and recognizing that my history of the diary was a bit boring I took the reseach and spun it into a novel featuring an invented protagonist, a young boy who is a friend of the Smiths. Haven’t ever tried to get it published but you can read the first chapter here if you have notion to. (BTW, Wm Randolph Smith is the boy in the top row in this tintype which has had some enhancement. Some have commented that Catherine’s head looks a bit odd. But there is another photo of her and she is not unattractive).

Hillary’s Sloppy Speech Habits

I watched Hillary Clinton’s performance on The View  (Part 1)  ( Part 2)
and she comes across as smart, pleasant, friendly, even funny. But a few minutes into the interview I found I was distracted by her recurring use of the filler “you know.” Speech expert Susan Ward points out that, “The problem with using fillers such as (”you know”) when you speak is that they distract your listener – often to the point that he doesn’t hear anything you say. Your message is entirely lost, obscured by the thicket of fillers surrounding it. Think about the last time you listened to someone with the filler habit. Chances are good you spent the time he spoke either being annoyed or counting the number of times he said the filler phrase.” Yep. I was counting the “you knows” and she was tracking with the worst of an NBA after game interview. “Well, you know, we do what we have to do, you know. I posted up you know, and they got me the ball you know and I went to the hoop.” Hilary recently polled ahead of McCain and Giuliani in a Newsweek poll. She will probably go to the hoop and announce soon that she’s running for President. Now that Preznit Bush has lowered the bar to a subterranean level there shouldn’t be any discussion as to whether someone like Hilary is qualified. Just about anyone is based on the current example. But I’d have a hard time listening to Senator Clinton if she continues to commit one of the most basic speech errors, using a meaningless phrase over and over. And while she’s cleaning up her act (she is certain to read this) I hope she will take precautions against saying the following: “The fact of the matter is...” Absolutely.” “Exactly.” And, please don’t ever say: “At the end of the day.” Please someone. Tell Hillary. It’s, you know,
important.

Christmas Letter

We have had requests (well, a request) for our annual Christmas letter which we have published more or less continuously since about about 1974. This letter started out as a parody of boring Christmas letters my parents were receiving and finally evolved into a parody of itself. We aren’t doing one this year. My own thinking regarding holidays is that they occur too often and I have begun a campaign, which I hope will grow exponentially, to convert all holidays to the Olympic model. I am proposing that all holidays, including birthdays and anniversaries be celebrated quadrennially. Right now, for example, Christmas sneaks up on us so quickly that we have no time to properly prepare. There are many pressures associated with the holiday season. Even though my theory that the suicide rate increases at Christmas has been
debunked it is still a nerve racking time requiring one to travel in hazardous weather and eat sugary foods. If I had four years to gear up for Christmas I could possibly get ready. And, I can only imagine my relief on December 26 with 1461 days to go until the next get together. With careful planning one year could contain Thanksgiving, the next one Christmas, followed the next year by  Halloween, and then the Fouth of July. I know I will be accused of Grinchiness. In my defense I will offer that I suffer from PTSS which occurred as the result of spending two Christmas’s in a row in what was officially classified as a combat zone. Granted I did get to see a Bob Hope Show with Joey Heatherton (who was highly regarded in 1965) and received many boxes of Christmas cookies from relatives and even school kids I didn’t know. I actually had a great Christmas that year even though I was living in a tent. But claiming to feel bad about Christmas because I spent two December 25s in SEA is a good story and I’m sticking to it.

Intelligence Briefing

If you are a President, Cabinet Secretary, General or Commanding Officer of some military unit you are used to being “briefed.” It’s the lazy man’s way to get the news. We get a briefing if we watch the nightly news anchor distill and summarize the day’s events. I appreciate a good briefing and am always on the lookout for one. And, I have a good one to recommend. I used to be a briefer. When I was a brand new intel officer fresh off the boat in the Philippines I was tabbed to brief the Base Commander. Colonel Hill, a regular asshole of a fellow. In those days before PowerPoint and laptops the viewgraph and rear view projector were the media we used to present information to our briefing audience. We made slides on 8” X 11” pieces of acetate bordered with a cardboard frame. There was a large supply of stock viewgraphs sent down by higher headquarters.  In bigger intelligence shops you might have a competent NCO on staff who could crank out first class material. If we were in a hurry we would write the information on a slide with a grease pencil and project it on the the screen with the good ones. The briefer normally spoke from a small podium in front of the room and used note cards or stood next to the screen with a pointer and used the viewgraphs for notes. To get the airman or NCO who was behind the screen to change slides we used the sophistocated method of saying, “Next.” In a typical briefing for someone like Colonel Hill, I would give the highlights of missions flown in South Vietnam and North Vietnam. A slide would appear with a colored map of South Vietnam showing the major cities of Saigon, Bien Hoa, Natrang, Danang and Pleiku with little explosions marking the main target areas. I would say something like, “Yesterday, eighty four missions were flown by A1E’s and T-28s in South Vietnam. Targets hit included a supply depot, a truck park, and a bridge. Two secondary explosions were noted. In addition, close air support was flown on behalf of the Special Forces Camp in the Ia Drang Valley. Ground fire was light. No aircraft were hit.” Then I would move on to the North and report on other news from the theater. When I got a bit more experience I realized that what I had actually told the Colonel was that we had bombed a hooch, took a shot at what some forward air controller thought was a truck and hurled bombs at a bamboo bridge across some jungle stream. We spun ourselves to make us feel better about how much money we were spending chasing little guys in rubber shoes.

All military “talks” were referred to as “briefings.” The object of the briefing was to keep the Commander (often known as the “old man”) and his key staff informed. There would be a series of briefings at the wing staff meeting organized according to the preference of the old man but most often with weather and intelligence coming first. I probably listened to a thousand weather briefings during my four years in the Air Force and they all sounded the same to me. “Cumulus, ciro-nimbus, high overcast, winds aloft, thunderstorm activity, icing probably above 15,000 feet.”

After weather and intelligence would come operations, maintenance and the other departments. Each briefer would have his own list of abreviations and jargon that was understood by all, except me. I could never understand the maintenance acronyms used to describe the status of the airplanes. My favorite was NORSG pronounced “nors-gee” and which meant, I think, “Not Operationally Ready For Service—Grounded.” This was a fancy way of saying, “It’s broke, Colonel.” These other divisions would normally send at least a captain and very often it would be a major or lieutenant colonel. Thus, at Colonel Hill’s party I was the lowest of the low. I was so low that Colonel Hill didn’t like  wasting his scathing sarcasm on me and my greenhorn analysis of events as they developed in Vietnam, but saved them for bigger fish. However, I quickly learned how dangerous a Colonel could be. There were two types of Colonels—nice guys and and nasty guys. Colonel Hill was a nasty. Most Colonels were nasties. Occassionally he would respond to something I said with the non-sequiter, “I don’t think so.” And I would reply, “Yes sir!” It’s best to agree with nasty little Colonels who are trying to impress their staff with their “toughness.” We had so little hot off the press material that I would add in some Order of Battle information like where the NVA (North Vietnamese Army) might have some radar controlled anti-aircraft such as the dreaded 57mm or where SA-2 missiles might be located. The fact is, they could have done without the intel briefing, read Time Magazine instead, but it was good live fire experience for me staying cool with a table full of colonels staring at me. I was young Peter Jennings with the news...But I digress, don’t I? I wanted to recommend an excellent daily news briefing which analyses what’s going on at the White House. It’s called “White House Briefing” by Dan Froomkin, a columnist for the Washington Post. Go to Washington Post.com. Look on the left side of the home page for OPINIONS. Then scroll down until you find “Dan Froomkin: White House Briefing." He’s always good. But if you don’t agree with him you can say, “I don’t think so.”

Support the Troops—Be One

The best way to support the troops is to be one. During the Vietnam era, 60% of draft age eligible people avoided service according to Baskir and Strauss in their book Chance and Circumstance. This was during the era of the draft, before the volunteer army. So, I wonder what the percentage is now. My guess is there is a much lower participation that 40%. We know, for example, that no member of the Bush Family is serving in any capacity. There’s Pierce Bush, Jenna Bush, Barbara Bush, Lauren Bush, John Ellis Bush Jr., Sam LeBlond, George P. Bush, Ellie LaBlond, and Noelle Bush.  Here are ten young people of military age (or Peace Corps age) , all grandchildren of a genuine WWII war hero who have apparently elected not to support the troops in the only way it’s really possible to support them, by being one and helping out. One wonders why if President Bush feels the War on Terror and the War in Iraq is so important he doesn’t encourage his kids, neices and nephews to contribute to the effort. Maybe they have a yellow ribbon on their Beemers. (Disclaimer: have no idea if the charges made by General J. C. Christian General J. C. Christian in his short video linked above are, in fact, true. Note: Jesus' General is something of a kidder).
UPDATE:  Matt Damon agrees with me and the General.