Hangin’ Out in Hawaii

It’s been raining on Oahu. Cloud bursting noisy downpours in the middle of the night that overflow gutters and make splattering noises on the roof. The Waimea River, fed by even heavier rains in the mountains, bursts through the dunes at Waimea Bay and clouds the ocean with a brown stain that spreads for several hundred yards. Everyone hides out in their houses waiting for a break in the sun and when it appears, make their way to the beach. The surf is down and the surfers disappointed. Last evening, while picking up shells at Keiki, I watched a young guy snorkel his way through the waves and up onto the beach holding a spear gun and dragging a big fish behind him tied to a red buoy. In an Aussie accent he told a pretty girl who stopped to admire him that he trailed the fish thirty feet behind in case there were sharks. They had a long discussion about sharks while I lurked about eavesdropping bent at a 90 degree angle scanning the beach for the distinctive spiral pattern of the puka. The fish was an amber jack, weighing about fifteen pounds, and the man from Oz was going to have it for supper. I was working the surf line looking for “fresh” shells and had a bit of a conversation with a trim middle aged gal in a green bikini. She was shelling as well and we compared notes on our pickings. Everyone on the beach is pretty friendly. Of course, many are visitors. Most are visitors is my guess. But there is a cordiality among those hanging out. Hawaii is relaxing. More relaxing, I must admit, since I gave up wearing underpants. Underpants just are not required here. They are binding, restrictive, uncomfortable and hot. For several years I wore bathing suits with the built-in web underwear. Then I discovered the comfort of board shorts, long loose trunks that hang to the knee and allow one to flop about without fear of embarrassment. The best board shorts have no elastic but tie with a string at the top of a zipper or Velcro fly. They open wide so that after a swim you can drop them to your ankles while wrapped in a beach towel and pull on another pair without fear of arrest (or ridicule). No undies to tie you up or catch sand. These big baggy shorts of quick drying material are suitable even for short hikes. I think this would be a good slogan for the Hawaii Travel Bureau. “When you come to Hawaii, leave your underpants at home.”