Golf Commentators

Golf fans have their favorite commentators. Most value Johnny Miller for his astuteness and honesty. Nick Faldo and Paul Azinger are quickly gaining fans for their crossfire and Faldo’s dry English wit. (Last week Nick even sang, quite nicely I thought, a bit of an old Monty Python song: “Look on the bright side of life.”)
My focus today is on the commentators we should get rid of. For years golf fans have had to sit through the ponderous verbal essays of Jack Whitaker, wearing his jaunty tweed cap and droning on about some shot or performance his writers believed to be mythic. I’m not going to use up a pink slip on Jack because he’s pretty well seen the course. But his takes on golf, though lauded by the Golf Broadcasters Hall of Fame, remind one of Ancient Greeks and murals on chapel ceilings. TV golf writers are terrible. They’ll try to make the Hartford Open into something legendary. When they get to some event like the Masters or US Open, they froth excessively. This weekend we are forced to review the short, happy life of the late Payne Stewart, ad nauseum, led by NBC’s new lead essayist and longtime irritating interviewer Jimmy Roberts. Wikipedia notes that, “His writing is regarded as some of the best in all of broadcast journalism.” This is faint praise when one is talking about TV golf essays. Roberts has the look of a weasel, or of a hungry lowlife journalist looking for a scoop or at least a sound bite. Jimmy Roberts specializes in the puff piece. Today, in addition to Payne Stewart, his beautiful, chaste widow, his teenage son’s relationship with Lee Janzen, we will be getting Jason Gore overload. Jason Gore is a big, pleasant guy who is in the final group. He’s such and unknown that NBC has got to be crapping their corporate pants worrying about ratings. To compensate for their fears they will Jimmy Roberts Jason Gore for all they are worth. Puff. Puff.
Playing golf last Friday Ed had one of his best ideas. Granted it was theoretical and kind of philosophical. It was this: what if, at age 50, everyone had the right to pull the trigger on one other individual? That is, make them disappear permanently. Wouldn’t it make a nicer world? Wouldn’t behavior be modified significantly? If just one person who you might have pissed off could, at age 50, eliminate you my guess is you’d change your ways, try harder to be nice and kind. If you were a golf commentator and a viewer could make you disappear you might try and be more interesting and less of a prick.
The trouble is that Ed’s ideas are just too ahead of their time. Instead of elimination one must resort to carping. So, if I were running NBC I’d get rid of Jimmy Roberts. And, if I were running CBS, I’d pull the trigger on Bobby Clampett whose bitterness at not being on tour himself spills into his tone and commentary.

Comments

[C Dains]

What is with the NBC golf commentators ? Watching the Arnold Palmer Invitational and Tiger is setting up for his approach on the 16th on Sunday afternoon, we hear them say "Where is he aiming .... why would he be aiming all the way over there?" He hits the shot and it lands and rolls to within 8 feet of the cup. Guys ..... how long are you going to have to watch him before you finally realize and accept that he obviously knows what he is doing. Makes you sound completely idiotic when you question what this guy is doing. Have you been watching at all for the last ten years ??? Seriously .... why can't you just keep quiet and let him show you, yet again, from one shot to the next, from one come back to the next, from one win to the next ..... he knows what he is doing ..... duh.

Reserve your questions and doubts for all others out there trying to even come close to him ... and if he faulters, well feel free to question at that point, but until that day comes they would be so much better served just being quiet and enjoying the incredible show he continually puts on ... and please allow us to do the same without the lame comments