Hillary Will Never Be President

If you watched the finale to this season’s CBS Survivor you will understand that Hillary Clinton doesn’t stand a chance to be President of these United States. A lot of people might feel that watching the premier reality television show is a total waste of time. But if one, while watching, is able to discern such important political truths as “Hillary Will Never Be President” then one can argue that it is time well spent. Besides, the best piece of TV film of the year is when our host, Jeff Probst, takes the urn which holds the final vote from the Island of Vanuatu to CBS studios in Hollywood. This year, Jeff said “goodbye” to the survivors, picked up the urn, a torch and a machete. An urn, torch and machete would make a good juggling routine and it appeared that in trying to hold the urn and torch in one hand and whack at brush with the other, Jeff might set his hair on fire. In the darkness, lit only by his torch and the camera lights, our host hacked his way through nearly impenetrable jungle. This apparently went on all night because we next see him slash through the final foliage and emerge in a clearing where a nifty twin engine Vanuatu Airlines craft is waiting for him. I couldn’t identify the model of the airplane but it was apparently a very long range twin because a map appeared on the screen showing Vanuatu, then a line to Oahu and another line moving towards the coast of California. The same two engine craft appears in the sky above California and Jeff is suited up for a free fall. He straps the Survivor voting urn into a special pack and steps out the door and leaps into space. Making a perfect landing near a motorcycle Jeff strips off his skydiving suit and jump helmet replacing it with one of those nifty little Hell’s Angels type bike helmets. But the coolest thing of all is the custom-built rack on the back of the bike designed to hold the urn. It’s broad daylight somewhere out in the Valley as Jeff roars  towards the city. It takes awhile because we note that it’s pitch dark when he bikes up the ramp into the CBS studio building. Dark, but Jeff is still wearing his shades. Jeff runs into the studio holding the urn to the applause of the assembled contestants who have eaten so much since the filming ended that they are barely recognizable. Jeff then announces the vote and the winner is Chris Dougherty over Twila Tanner in a battle of highway construction workers. And this is why Hillary will never be President. Here’s the deal. The women on the show got off to a great start, formed a strong female alliance led by Ami Cusack. At one point in the show there were six ladies left and just one male—Chris. Chris was toast. But then, the women’s alliance was smashed on the rocks of envy. Still, the final jury ended up being five women and two men. A no brainer. The woman’s alliance would come together and support Twila (who does qualify as a woman). But did the women really want to see another woman win? Were they willing to vote for honest, forthright, in-your-face Twila over the self-admitted lying Chris? Absolutely not! He lied to Julie and Eliza. Made them cry and they still voted for him. One concludes that women are just too competitive when other women are concerned. One observes that they aren’t very supportive of women when it get down to the final vote. They picked lyin’ Chris over straight talking Twila. So, it should be clear from watching this years Survivor that Hillary can never be President. The ladies won’t really want to see her win.