Lots of people like to brag they don’t watch TV. We have joined that group. We no longer watch a TV either. Ha. We now watch shows on the internet on our gleaming 24” iMac. So, we can now make the smug claim that we own no TV and still watch Dancing With the Stars, Beauty and the Geek, America’s Next Top Model, The Bachelor, 30 Rock and The Office. For those who don’t watch TV I will bring you up to date. On Dancing, Mel B (Scary Spice of the Spice Girls, the one who is engaged in a child support battle with Eddie Murphy) revolutionized the Viennese Waltz by doing a series of four consecutive splits, a fantastical scissoring like move aided by her partner Max. You have to see it to believe it. Can’t really even explain it to those who don’t watch TV. Try and find it on YouTube someday. On America’s Next Top Model, Heather (the one who is supposed to have Asberger’s syndrome that is—high functioning autism) is functioning like a sure winner. Heather is geeky enough to be on our other show but when they put a camera in her face she metamorphoses and proves once and for all that the camera loves some more than others and that maybe there is something to this modeling thing. (The bad thing about Top Model is that Tyra Banks is on it too). We were disappointed on Beauty and Geek when our favorite couple Shay and Joshua got the boot. Shay was a sassy, bossy, compassionate black beauty queen who was saddled with one of the homeliest little white fellows one could hope never to see. She liked him and improved him and benefited as a result. They should have won. The producers ruined the show this year by introducing two ringers, a guy beauty named Sam and a geeky girl partner. Sam wins all the challenges because, unlike most of the other beauties he knows stuff. The Bachelor ended with a stranger whimpering sound as too-good-to-be-true Brad Womack failed to offer the last rose to either of the two finalists, Jennie or DeAnna. It was as if Brad got tired of playing the TV game and said, “Screw it.” It was a stupid ending to a stupid show but one which always fascinates in a guy’s eagerness to love more than one woman at one time and with the willingness that the women go along with it. I could go on about 30 Rock and The Office, but you probably watch those already.